It's a Wednesday and all isn't what I want it to be. I have this slight ache in my head, a twirling in my stomach, a slight twist in my spine, and about 1 million thoughts swirling past a few key feelings that kind of stay with me these days: Joy, Loneliness, Wanton Purpose, Creativity, and Doubt. Quite a salad of emotion, huh? Well, when I check my phone, email, and Facebook page I find that I am not the only one in the world feeling like this on a weekday afternoon. All of my thirty-ish associates, BFF’s, and cousins are feeling the same way. While this should make me feel less lonely….it doesn’t. Instead now we can add “confused” to the mix of feelings and emotions.
Here I am at 31. None of these feelings are new to me, that’s for sure. The situations are different but the same. I’ve certainly learned that no one else can change these things but me….soooooo…what am I gonna do about it? I could twirl my fingers and stare at the sky. I could talk about it with another as confused friend. I could lash out at work. I could go out on a date and hope that this dude kisses well enough to make me forget about all of it for just a minute. Still- I know that none of these are the real answers. So what is?
The answer for me…right now: is to do what I can just for right now and keep trying to push past these familiar yet destructive patterns of back and forth emotion. 1/3 of my life is gone! The last excuse I need to make is that I don’t feel a certain way to do certain things. I am at work and don’t feel like being here. I pay bills and don’t feel like give other companies my hard earned ca
sh. I can do my job, run my errands, complete my workout and get the things done that I need to get done today past these uneasy feelings. As for the soft headache and queasiness…I will breath easy, eat light, drink some tea, and take deep breaths. I’ll do a yoga workout tonight to deal with these and my back issues as well. As for the thoughts I will let them go in the same way I breath. I won’t hold them. And for those key feelings that are stuck to me…I will keep them in perspective as best I can.
I am an optimist by nature so I cannot conclude this short post without wrapping it all up in a really cute package. Life is not like a box of chocolates (everyday). We can’t pick and choose the situations that will come into our lives. So on those days that aren’t quite bad but don’t leave you feeling all wonderful on the inside….take one step at a time and make the best possible choice for that moment. It’s the one that matters the most.
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